I Heart Itachi
by AnglophileSasu
Summary: What happens when everything and everyone decides to annoy Itachi? And why is Sasuke taking so long in the bathroom? Read and find out! Rated T for swearing.


**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Naruto. I do not make any money from this. I do not like cheap ass light bulbs._

**A/N:** _Hey, folks! I just got the idea for this fanfiction when I was pondering what I should do to celebrate the marvelous Uchiha Itachi's birthday here the 9__th__ of June. So after pondering for an hour or so I threw on some epic music (seriously, it was listed as 'epic music' on YouTube XD) and started rapidly beating the crap out of those poor little buttons on my keyboard *apologizes for bullying them* and while I was trying to complete this I was constantly harassed by a light bulb that decided to be an ass. _

_Blinking light bulbs are highly frustrating! Grrr! But luckily it gave out after about twenty minutes, so I 'yay'ed at its pathetic defeat! _

_This story is a one-shot, and takes place in an alternative storyline where the massacre never was, and now Sasuke is about fifteen years old, Itachi then being around twenty years old. Oh well, enjoy my birthday gift for our beloved Uchiha Itachi._

Story: I Heart Itachi

Do you know how annoying it gets when a light bulb is just about to give out, and it is constantly blinking? As if it was some kind of warning sign, letting you know that next time you dare turn off the lights it will be the last time you will see it go from mesmerizingly bright to a dull dark color. You will be doomed to everlasting darkness at late nights, if you find changing it a useless task since those cheap ass bulbs give out way too often.

As if the annoying repetitive blinking wasn't enough, it was around a burning forty degrees Celsius (1) inside the Uchiha residence even though the night was pitch-black outside. The heat and the aggravating light dysfunction were ripping at the last of his remaining temper, and the only way to keep it under control was to drink glass after glass of ice cold water.

Uchiha Itachi wasn't known for randomly lashing out at people just because he was extremely annoyed, so he just sat there on the tatami-mat, inside the living room, glaring at the television for adding an extra couple of degrees to the already scalding temperature.

The television was showing a beautiful scenery, with a large waterfall letting its water splash down in a lake dividing the screen in two. On one side there was a moist rainforest with shrubs, small threes and stunning flowers. On the other side was soft luscious wet grass, bathing in the beams the sun was gladly offering. The sight was all in all breathtaking.

But the only things that caught Itachi's attention was the constant sounds of running water, along with the anchor woman using the words 'water', 'splashing' and 'liquid' way too much. He had been meaning to run to the toilet for an hour now, but his little brother of course chose this moment to occupy the restroom for all eternity.

He could just go outside and relieve himself, but his famous Uchiha pride told him otherwise. He wouldn't lower himself to do such a crude thing. He had to make Sasuke leave that blasted room! So he got up and made his way to the bathroom door. As he stopped right in front of it he heard a slight humming, coming from the other side of the door. His brother's voice spilled through the cracks around the door, making it impossible not to overhear.

It was a fragile sweet tune carrying hints of joy and love, causing a smile erupt on Itachi's lips. As he was enjoying the entertainment his brother was providing, his need to relieve the pressure in his gut made itself apparent again, ruining the moment completely.

"Sasuke, what are you doing in there?" he raised his voice slightly, so he wouldn't risk not to be heard.

There came a slightly surprised sound from the other side of the door, and what appeared to be a curse. "Solving world hunger! Go away Itachi!"

"Very mature Sasuke. Stop messing around and get out of there."

"NO!"

Itachi grunted and then decided to look through the keyhole, and find out what the teen was doing that was taking so long. He gasped as he saw Sasuke standing by the sink his back turned to the door, with his shirt pulled up revealing a large patch of bare skin. His pants were also slightly pulled down, and hands busy fiddling with something around his lower regions. The angle of the teen made it impossible to see what he was doing, and the mirror wasn't being helpful either.

Was he… masturbating? Wasn't it a bit more than weird to be humming while you were pleasuring yourself? Itachi sure thought so. So what the heck was he doing?

It was surely a mystery Itachi intended to solve before his guts exploded from not being relieved. God he hated only having one restroom in the house. Just then he remembered that there was a spare key to the bathroom door's lock, in a drawer in the kitchen. He quickly retrieved the key and instantly placed it in the lock, bracing himself for whatever that awaited him on the other side of the door.

He opened the door and as soon as he did so his brother turned around with a shocked expression on his face. He was holding a black marker in his right hand, the left hand holding up his shirt. On his abdomen was written the words 'I' and 'Itachi' connected with a slightly larger heart.

It was times like these when he had to wonder if Sasuke was adopted.

END

(1) About 104 degrees in Fahrenheit (kill Google if I'm wrong!).

**A/N:** _So… what do you think? Write me a review and let me know! :D  
Btw, this oneshot will also be posted on my dA account: xxPrettyxBurningxx_

_-luv, Alexx Cross_


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